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And I am okay, thanks.
2005-07-25 @ 2:44 p.m.
Right now, my life is in a state of flux, the end of my 20s looms not so far away like a great looming thing. The day-to-day demands of work, of relationships, of a hobby that's grown grossly out of proportion are breaking me down it by bit. I hate my job, but that’s not news. So I’m looking for one that I hopefully won’t hate so much or at least will offer a brief change of scenery before I settle in and start hating it too.
My relationship…ah, tricky, that. Yes, I’m still in love, but there’s a part of me that knows this is fleeting. Too many demons and differing expectations. A best-before date has been scrawled on the package and we both know it. I guess it’s a question of seeing where things go. I made a pretty good single guy, and if it comes to that again someday, I’m sure I’ll be ready (though I won’t be happy). We’ll always have Montreal (I hope). I’d rather this just works.
And the hobby? I’m trying to scramble to finish a grant application to bring in some much-needed cash. Free money would be a big boost, but leaving things till the last minute is no way to run a railroad (or record label). I’m stressed is what, knowing that the difference between breaking even and being out another couple of thousand clams is…me.